Word limits were overrated anyway.

Personality surveys.

You can't tell me that somewhere deep down you don't get this thrill of expectation whenever you do some nugatory questionnaire to ascertain your personal traits, strengths and weaknesses. To me, it seems very Sisyphean to insist on spending what little time you have bumbling around on this Earth filling your head with generic balderdash with about as much authenticity as the Zodiac horoscope readings.

But I guess it's pretty efficacious in assuaging the harsh realities of mortality by making humankind believe that our personal quirks and idiosyncrasies actually mean something while we're alive. Because heaven knows that my alleged ability to problem solve is unique to me and that being caring and understanding is something that only I could possibly be capable of based on the quality of my answers.

Suddenly, BAM - I should be a doctor. It makes sense. All these answers have made it so clear to me. How could I not see it before? Problem solving? Check. Caring? Check. Understanding? Check.

Excuse me, I'll be back shortly. I'm just filling in my first job application on the NHS website. Qualifications? Personality survey. Relevant work experience? Good at concentrating for extended periods of time, as proven by filling in the quiz. Why should I get the job? The quiz said I have all the relevant attributes and I learn fast. I also believe everything I read so you won't have any trouble with me.

Come on, guys. Please? Get your shit together. It pains me to believe that there are still people out there gullible enough to believe half the shit that's posted on the internet. These are the same people who expect things to be handed to them on a silver platter with little or no input of their own and yet half the time, it's these idiots who succeed because the public lap up morons like that and are completely oblivious to the fact that without the smart, logical folk running everything else in the background, they'd be nothing again.

And what frustrates me the most is that we just sit back and let it happen! Like it's the natural order! Our country isn't the only one guilty of suffering from this giant, self-inflicted migraine but the flat out refusal to take any painkillers is baffling. Sleeping it off has proven fruitless time and time again. As Albert Einstein said: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This country is going insane.

Yet, I find myself, every once in a while, bored amongst such a wealth of information and resources and I slip into a stupor.  Like a recovering alcoholic, every once in a while, I find myself scratching and itching for a subtle release - just one drink and I'll be fine, right? Sure. And so I go searching, every once in a while, for something to give me that little buzz, that little kick, that little shot from a needle in the arm and I still don't know why. Maybe I'm one of them? Maybe the idiots are right all along.

All I know is that, every once in a while, I fall guiltily back into my degrading, depression-relieving routine and scrounge despairingly for my one true pick-me-up:

Personality surveys.